


My Dear Finduilas

by LuxaLucifer



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Epistolary, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-15
Updated: 2015-08-15
Packaged: 2018-04-14 20:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4579134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuxaLucifer/pseuds/LuxaLucifer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I write you this letter in hopes that I have not forgotten the words to do so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Dear Finduilas

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the SWG Anniversary Contest and probably the last one I’m going to get done on time, my prompts were epistolary and “Melkor frees captives for treacherous purposes.

My dear Finduilas,

I write you this letter in hopes that I have not forgotten the words to do so. I ask that you forgive the penmanship, for it is hard to keep your quill steady when you have lost a hand. You will also have to forgive the quality of this paper. There is much to forgive, as you can see.

I escaped. Those two words are almost unbearable to write, but there they are. I escaped. I’m free. And yet I wonder- has the enemy only pretended to let me escape, secretly planning to use me for some nefarious purpose? I feel as though I am trapped in a story not my own, only to be utilized by a darker purpose, to fill some evil plot.

This is not why I am writing you. My mind wanders even when I do my best to focus. I think of torments I have suffered, the things I have seen, the deaths of those I love, real or imagined. I think of these things instead of the subject at hand.

And that subject is…my dear Finduilas, I may never make it back to you. I may never see you again.  _May_. I use the word as though it is likely that I will see you again, as though seeing you again is the probable outcome, when really it is so far-fetched that even my dreams cannot connect us.

I will probably never see you again.

The thought hurts more than anything Morgoth did to me.

I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I can’t do anything, see anything, go anywhere, without thinking of you. I miss you. I think of little else.

And yet you will never know, because this letter will never reach you. That is what hurts most of all. I have no way to send it to you other than to bring it to you myself, and you should rightfully laugh at that suggestion. Oh, what I would give to hear your laugh. But seeing you again is a fantasy I have no hope of, so I write this in vain in hopes to assuage my pain, and I wish you well.

Perhaps I will let this go in the wind and hope that it takes this letter to you. It is more hope than I have right now.

Your once beloved,

Gwindor


End file.
